her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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