all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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