Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
