is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
