don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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