I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
