i think i have two assholes
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
