i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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