Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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