Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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