I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
