we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
