I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Every concussion has its silver lining
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
