i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
