Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
