Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
