Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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