I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
