Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
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