just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
