There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
