FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
