a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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