im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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