Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
