I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
