so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
