Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize