What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
