What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
