I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
