I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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