I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize