new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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