He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
