All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
