I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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