And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
