before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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