i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize