Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
