She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
