i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I need moral support for this bender
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
