Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
