I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
