And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
