I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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