Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
