Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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