does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize