There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
