Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
