i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
