i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
