i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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