trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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