She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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