I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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