help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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