Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
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