Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize