it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
