I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
