I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need moral support for this bender
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize