Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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