This is not my ceiling
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
No stitches, just platelets and will power
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
