And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There r osticjed everywhere
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
