I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize