I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
